I think the average suburbanite views Detroit as a dangerous playground. Kind of like a trampoline without any netting.

Sure, we may quickly lock our car doors but suburbanites love going downtown to visit the art museum, take in a play or thrill to a dance troupe. Sorry, I was addressing the wine drinkers first.

The beer drinkers go to Detroit to take in baseball and football games.

But no basketball. The most inner-city of all pro sports is played out in Auburn Hills. Do you remember when the black minister James Holley chastised the Detroit Pistons for playing "plantation basketball" in the suburbs?

The Pistons shrugged it off and won three championships up there. By the way, if Doug Fister helps the Tigers to the World Series I'm going to repaint the Joe Louis fist white. Don't worry, I'll repaint it black the next day. I'm a suburbanite and I've got plenty of paint. For some reason suburbanites always have a lot of paint in the garage.

I think the average suburbanite views Detroit as a dangerous playground. Kind of like a trampoline without any netting.

Sure, we may quickly lock our car doors but suburbanites love going downtown to visit the art museum, take in a play or thrill to a dance troupe. Sorry, I was addressing the wine drinkers first.

The beer drinkers go to Detroit to take in baseball and football games.

But no basketball. The most inner-city of all pro sports is played out in Auburn Hills. Do you remember when the black minister James Holley chastised the Detroit Pistons for playing "plantation basketball" in the suburbs?

The Pistons shrugged it off and won three championships up there. By the way, if Doug Fister helps the Tigers to the World Series I'm going to repaint the Joe Louis fist white. Don't worry, I'll repaint it black the next day. I'm a suburbanite and I've got plenty of paint. For some reason suburbanites always have a lot of paint in the garage.