First we had O.J. Simpson and a glove that didn’t fit so they had to acquit.

Now we have Kwame Kilpatrick stashing cash in shoes of different hues.

Well, I’m assuming he has different colored shoes. The ex-mayor of Detroit was famous for wearing an endless supply of expensive suits. Surely he has shoes to match -- maybe fewer shoes than Imelda Marcos, but more than me. Testimony at Kilpatrick’s federal trial shows that Kilpatrick had a habit of keeping money in his shoes. Not while he was wearing them, mind you, but while the shoes were stored at home.

Internal Revenue Service agent Ron Sauer testified about the possibility of Kilpatrick stashing a significant amount of money inside those shoes. “Depending on how big the shoe is,” Sauer said, amazingly, with a straight face.

Detroiters must hate it when suburbanites come visiting and screw up their idyllic city. The latest such example is a shooting between passengers of the riverboat, the Detroit Princess. First off, a riverboat? What is this, Mississippi? But that’s beside the point. Last month,  Michael A. Thomas, 32, and his wife, Latoiya Mitchell-Thomas, 28, both of Roseville, got involved in a shooting with LaDon Richard, 46, of Detroit. No one was killed, but the charges are serious. Prosecutors say Thomas and Mitchell-Thomas were driving away after the boat docked and she fired into a crowd of people. Richard fired back and struck Thomas. It just steams my clams that people from the mean streets of Roseville feel compelled to take their raucous lifestyles down into a simple, peace-loving city like Detroit. But, as Mark Twain said, “Be good, and you will be lonesome in Roseville.”

First we had O.J. Simpson and a glove that didn’t fit so they had to acquit.

Now we have Kwame Kilpatrick stashing cash in shoes of different hues.

Well, I’m assuming he has different colored shoes. The ex-mayor of Detroit was famous for wearing an endless supply of expensive suits. Surely he has shoes to match -- maybe fewer shoes than Imelda Marcos, but more than me. Testimony at Kilpatrick’s federal trial shows that Kilpatrick had a habit of keeping money in his shoes. Not while he was wearing them, mind you, but while the shoes were stored at home.

Internal Revenue Service agent Ron Sauer testified about the possibility of Kilpatrick stashing a significant amount of money inside those shoes. “Depending on how big the shoe is,” Sauer said, amazingly, with a straight face.

Detroiters must hate it when suburbanites come visiting and screw up their idyllic city. The latest such example is a shooting between passengers of the riverboat, the Detroit Princess. First off, a riverboat? What is this, Mississippi? But that’s beside the point. Last month,  Michael A. Thomas, 32, and his wife, Latoiya Mitchell-Thomas, 28, both of Roseville, got involved in a shooting with LaDon Richard, 46, of Detroit. No one was killed, but the charges are serious. Prosecutors say Thomas and Mitchell-Thomas were driving away after the boat docked and she fired into a crowd of people. Richard fired back and struck Thomas. It just steams my clams that people from the mean streets of Roseville feel compelled to take their raucous lifestyles down into a simple, peace-loving city like Detroit. But, as Mark Twain said, “Be good, and you will be lonesome in Roseville.”