Who is this Krystal Crittendon? She has the first name of a dancer and a last name that sounds like a hospital. I’ve seen her referred to as Detroit’s corporation counsel and also as the city’s lead attorney. Either way she holds a lot of clout, including the ability to single-handedly send the city into bankruptcy.

How’s that possible? I thought only the county executive had that kind of power. I came to that conclusion while watching Macomb’s Mark Hackel take part in a synthetic pot raid at the Woodstock Tobacco store in Shelby Township. By the way, nothing illegal was found at the store. It was probably the first time nothing illegal was found at some place named Woodstock.

Crittendon opposed a consent deal Mayor Dave Bing struck with Gov. Rick Snyder because, she claims, the state should first pay Detroit the millions and millions of dollars the state owes the city.

The city, on the other hand, is trying to avoid a payless payday, which is a completely unfunny oxymoron. You know what really surprises me – that an unwieldy, mismanaged, at-times corrupt city like Detroit has never had such an oxymoronic payday. That is nothing short of amazing.

Charles Pugh, president of the Detroit City Council, recently got into a Twar (that’s short for Twitter war, and my patent is pending) with an intern at Crain’s Automotive News. Pugh had been chided by a Detroit News writer because the council prez (that’s short for president) seemed to be more concerned with reducing his weight than reducing the city’s deficit. Pugh lost 60 pounds and then lost his cool after the intern dared to agree with the News writer. Pugh threatened to contact the intern’s boss. I used to work for Keith Crain and he didn’t seem to mind if I test drove $50,000 cars (and those are 1980s dollars) so I doubt he’d care about an intern’s innocent tweets. I’ll cut Pugh some slack. We’ve all gotten cranky after cutting back on eating, smoking or drinking. I’m feeling kind of irritable at just the thought of teetotalism (that’s long for sobriety).

Remember when Gov. Jenny Granholm wanted Michigan to develop “cool” cities. We admittedly don’t have many. Ann Arbor is probably tops, unless some crazy guy sets up shop in the U-M diag to warn co-eds about the end of the world. East Lansing, Grand Rapids are also nice.

Frankenmuth? That’s a mystery. Why people come by the busload from Canada just to eat fried chicken, I’ll never know.

Now a website called Business Insider has come up with a list of “hot” cities and ranked Detroit No. 7. Here’s the reasoning: “Young idealists are moving back to Detroit… with their small businesses many of which are socially and environmentally responsible… like Recycle Here! and Food Lab Detroit.” I also hear that developers hope to turn a large chunk of abandoned factory turf into a zombie park, where visitors can flee flesh-eaters. Do I need to say that we're talking about fake zombies?

Who is this Krystal Crittendon? She has the first name of a dancer and a last name that sounds like a hospital. I’ve seen her referred to as Detroit’s corporation counsel and also as the city’s lead attorney. Either way she holds a lot of clout, including the ability to single-handedly send the city into bankruptcy.

How’s that possible? I thought only the county executive had that kind of power. I came to that conclusion while watching Macomb’s Mark Hackel take part in a synthetic pot raid at the Woodstock Tobacco store in Shelby Township. By the way, nothing illegal was found at the store. It was probably the first time nothing illegal was found at some place named Woodstock.

Crittendon opposed a consent deal Mayor Dave Bing struck with Gov. Rick Snyder because, she claims, the state should first pay Detroit the millions and millions of dollars the state owes the city.

The city, on the other hand, is trying to avoid a payless payday, which is a completely unfunny oxymoron. You know what really surprises me – that an unwieldy, mismanaged, at-times corrupt city like Detroit has never had such an oxymoronic payday. That is nothing short of amazing.

Charles Pugh, president of the Detroit City Council, recently got into a Twar (that’s short for Twitter war, and my patent is pending) with an intern at Crain’s Automotive News. Pugh had been chided by a Detroit News writer because the council prez (that’s short for president) seemed to be more concerned with reducing his weight than reducing the city’s deficit. Pugh lost 60 pounds and then lost his cool after the intern dared to agree with the News writer. Pugh threatened to contact the intern’s boss. I used to work for Keith Crain and he didn’t seem to mind if I test drove $50,000 cars (and those are 1980s dollars) so I doubt he’d care about an intern’s innocent tweets. I’ll cut Pugh some slack. We’ve all gotten cranky after cutting back on eating, smoking or drinking. I’m feeling kind of irritable at just the thought of teetotalism (that’s long for sobriety).

Remember when Gov. Jenny Granholm wanted Michigan to develop “cool” cities. We admittedly don’t have many. Ann Arbor is probably tops, unless some crazy guy sets up shop in the U-M diag to warn co-eds about the end of the world. East Lansing, Grand Rapids are also nice.

Frankenmuth? That’s a mystery. Why people come by the busload from Canada just to eat fried chicken, I’ll never know.

Now a website called Business Insider has come up with a list of “hot” cities and ranked Detroit No. 7. Here’s the reasoning: “Young idealists are moving back to Detroit… with their small businesses many of which are socially and environmentally responsible… like Recycle Here! and Food Lab Detroit.” I also hear that developers hope to turn a large chunk of abandoned factory turf into a zombie park, where visitors can flee flesh-eaters. Do I need to say that we're talking about fake zombies?